Crabby Monkey's Studio

Hooray for February!

2012-02-01T06:16:00.000-08:00

I don't know about everyone else but for me, I thought January would NEVER end!!!

Thank goodness it's over!!!!!

We are having GREAT weather here. It's like early spring. I'm loving it. I have no patience for winter this year. Just happy to skip right over it.

Lots of changes for 2012. One of the biggest if finally getting a job in my field!

Yippie! I can't wait for that! I look forward to teaching (even though I'm a bit scared -but that is natural I suppose). I'm pounding the pavement to get a job teaching somewhere in my state or surrounding states.

Also I want to (intentions time.... )

Let go of old limitations and start expressing myself freely and creatively

Release the need for this excess weight

Love myself

Approve of myself

Know that I count and am important.

Allow others to be themselves, we are all safe and free.

Nourish myself with love and with joy.

Know that I deserve the best and accept the best NOW.

Love, laugh, smile more and release the past with peace.

I want to spend time with J and K enjoying life and be able to monetarily help, when they need me to.

I want J and K to have health, success, safety, friends, balance and fun too.

I want to be free of debt and have a saving, affordable healthcare, eye care, dental care.

I want friends that are creativing, caring, trustworthy, balanced.

I want to: go to plays, ballets, galleries, museums, concerts, dancing, travel, write, knit, paint, draw, read, photograph, eat, drink, enjoy, have fun and find all the things in life that *I* love.

Dear Universal Source hear my intentions and help me to manifest a balanced long healthy life (like 100 or so). Amen! V

New Year - New Life?

2012-01-16T08:35:00.000-08:00

After 3 years of working and attending classes I have completed my 2nd BA in Art Education. Now it's time to FIND A JOB TEACHING ART!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! Limbo SUCKS!

Currently things are in a stuck pattern. I'm making plans to visit Lexington and meeting with the recruiter for the school district and there is a job fair in March. Yippie!

Also getting K graduated from high school and moved off to college.

So much to do but it's all in the future and for now it's just time to wait. I guess I'm impatient about the future.

I pray for patience and the ability to enjoy the moment. Amen.

Fall to Winter Update ----

2011-11-19T10:50:00.000-08:00

Wrapping up student teaching

Looking for Art job

Planning on sleeping alot --- I need sleep

Finishing portfolio

Getting Kai ready for college

Seeing Joe and Bubbles for Thanksgiving and Xmas

Looking forward to seeing my grand-dog :)

Enjoying the dreary cold - yippie!

Knitting

Drawing

READING -- Fiction... wow!

Snuggling

Soups and other comfort foods --- Yummy

Baking Bread ! :) To share with new art buddies :) - I can't wait

Enjoying the breath.

Summer Update

2011-07-09T06:15:00.000-07:00

Summer - Hot

Teaching - Art

Kids - Good

Hubby - Home

That's the highlights. More to come.

Change will come, oh change WILL come.....

2011-02-02T05:13:00.000-08:00

Well where to start. Last Friday, Jan 28 - I got a shocking bit of news - the company I have worked for - for the last 4 years - laid me off, along with about 9 others.

The shock is wearing off and the reminders of "everything happens for a reason" & "it's probably for the best" & to quote my aunt "one door closes and a new one opens" (love that one!).

Remembering to breathe and that money flows like the breath and being open to new possiblities.

I had planned on jumping right into observing this week but my daughter has been home sick so, as blessings go, Thank You God - for this time to heal. There is always next week.

Plus I want to teach!!!! I know it IS my vocation. Amen!

Snow, Spring 2011 semester begins, student teaching on the horizon........

2011-01-20T19:07:00.000-08:00

Well it's January---- February is already just around the corner. This semester looks to be the most jam packed yet. 71 hours of observation needed for student teaching, 9 hours of classes, 35 + hours of work required to stay fulltime, TEAC, finished portfolio, PLT test.... kids, bills, house and work. Hubby still out of town, son off at college - just me and cutie pie.

I just hope and pray that I can get through it all with my sanity and my health in tact.

I'm trying to breathe more - take things one day at a time and NOT procrastinate. Get my rest, vitamins, eat healthy.. think positively.

WISH ME LUCK AND ASK GOD FOR HELP AND MERCY! Amen.

thanks universe. vb

Winter Wonderland

2010-12-14T03:36:00.000-08:00

Well - I survived Fall 2010 - semester. Not only did I survive but I learned so much! This time next year I will be finishing my student teaching and graduating :) !!!!

Now it's time to rest, relax, get some exercise and fresh air, read, sketch, breath, get organized.

BREATH - BREATH - BREATH.

Mama's got a New BLOG-ITUDE!

2010-08-14T15:54:00.000-07:00

Well - where to start. Life could not be more hectic right now.

Son leaving for college in 6 days.

Daughter a junior in high school with a job, boyfriend, active social life and soon to be driving.

Classes starting back for me.

Working fulltime.

Some very scargy inevitable situations are coming to a head and hopefully coming to an end or changing in a way that will create a happier situation for my husband and myself.

And the usual money-worries.

I hope to be able to get used to life's interruptions some day. Just as things seem to settle in to a happy moment some other cog in the wheel slips into or out of place - footholds weaken, ground trembles, fear, worry and anxiety grab your heart, mind and soul to startle your insides to the point of a non-stop nausea.

But in all of this I want to say that I AM AN ARTIST. I seek to be creating, discovering, learning, teaching, opening the eyes of others.

My son is going on his own creative journey and I am watching him closely. I want to learn from him. My daughter is also my teacher. She is educating me in the world of nurturing. I have nurtured them both with my body, my mind, my soul, my heart and every cell of myself and now they are teaching and nurturing me.

Thank you God for the blessings ~ and those to come!

summer cold.....

2010-05-15T04:23:00.000-07:00

Well OK it's not actually summer yet but I do have a yucky cold. My daughter had it first, even though she didn't seem like she felt this bad though - :P. She said this morning though that she DID feel this bad. :(

So much is happening right now - spring is bringing new birth. I always think of May and late spring in terms of birth because both of my children were born in May and I was born at the end of June.

My son is graduating from high school in just a couple of weeks. He is being born again to the world in a new way - as an adult. With this new birth comes a new kind of letting go for me as a parent. I know it will be similar to child birth, painful and exciting, scary and exhilarating, tearful and joyful.

My son is an amazing person and an inspiration to me to keep working at what I want. He works hard and keeps pushing himself toward his dreams and goals. There were sticky points during his boyhood but we worked through them together as a family.

Part of my heart will go with him to college in the fall. I feel so blessed to be part of his life. I have always felt that my children were a gift from God and that it was my responsibility to help them grow into decent human beings. Especially since at the time of their births I did not have a career or even an idea of what I was good at. They became my career. Now I am on to my second career even though it has been hard to figure out -- lots of stumbling of my own, teaching is the only choice for me. I have proven this to myself and art will give me a way to teach others how to improve the world around us.

Springing -----

2010-03-07T07:53:00.001-08:00

it's so pretty outside -- sunny for 2, going on 3 straight days...!!!! I feel so nervous like a little kid.

Econ is over, waiting to hear about scholorships for joe, kai is done with swimming and i can't wait to get outside more.

I planning on spending more time outside this year. I think I am going to start walking my lunches when ever possible and enjoying the sun.

Healthier Happier 2010. Let go of the past more... move forward... start spending more time do the things I enjoy.

Rethinking business and entertaining teaching yet again!!!

Why I have no idea except that the idea excites me so much!

... we will see..... more soon.

longing for spring

2010-02-14T13:02:00.000-08:00

well i've sort of given up on the house thing. I really don't know if it's the right thing for now.

right now things are too intense. i just want to find space to breath, catch my breath again and persue some recent creative suggestions.

that's really all i have for now

and I can't wait for warm sunshine, flowers and shady spots

Hearts, home ownership and ............

2010-02-07T14:33:00.000-08:00

I have been looking at homes to purchase lately. I have seen two that I thought had great potential but ... were sadly disappointments. Boy it's exhausting getting your hopes up. Then there is the question of should you buy a house in this area.. yikes... more to worry about.. and more yada yada yada.

Along with this it's almost Valentine's Day - not really a big deal but I like the holiday just because spring is almost here. I have enjoyed the cold less and less this year. I want it to be warm.

Classes are stressful, work is stressful, I just need some relief. I feel that finally having a house of my own, especially with Joe leaving for college would be a good way to plant myself.

Not much else to say except that I am tired today and need to do some laundry, homework and straighten things up a bit.

sorry this is soooo boring.

money, fame, fortune, glamor.....

2010-01-31T06:51:00.000-08:00

what in the hell am i going to write about???? I have some ideas... trumpeting... swimming... but these stories would be observation.. maybe I am avoiding writing what I feel at this moment. really it would be able fear frustration... sadness ---- paralyzing fear -- so what is the fear about - it's about alot of things -

1) never really getting to have my/our own house
2) never being out of debt
3) never feeling good again
4) working myself to death
5) losing my children - growing up and getting away..
6)being stuck in a sucky situation forever
7)dying at an early age - never seeing my children be grown and being able to share life with my grandchildren
8) never being truly happy
9) being always stuck in the past
10) never getting paid for the work I do best

OK some of this seems like insane rambling I will give you ---- everyone has their 'problem' or 'journey' 'struggle' I get that. I've just had enough of it and I'm not sure how to be done with it.

i'm tired of life being so scarry - the minute you feel happy --- content -- creative --- some crappy thing comes and ruins it. I'm just sick of it.

I want a new job, I want to be able to be creative ---- i want to have energy for other things....

i don't have anything else to say right now.. to pissed off !!!!

.......tired......

2010-01-30T15:58:00.000-08:00

Well I stayed home from work yesterday and went to the doctor ~ I woke up feeling like someone had hit me in the head with a frying pan. I was feeling on Thursday after dinner -- could not focus.. too my econ test online.. it was not pretty.

So I have a sinus infection. I feel ok as long as I am just laying around but wow ~ i'm wiped out. I got a 63 on the econ test - same as last one and am feeling pretty down.

I feel like I am in a funk... a rut..... just got the blahs. I don't feel sleepy so I am spending too much time thinking. I found this house I really want to buy but who knows what will happen with that. So many things I need to fix.. or want to do and I feel like I've gone 20 rounds with Mike Tyson and it's time to stop getting up for more.

I've been thinking that maybe this MBA thing is a bad idea and that maybe I should go back to the education route....i just don't know anymore. I'm so tired of trying to 'figure' everything out and plan. NOthing ever works out --- i always feel lost --- maybe it's like writing... life that is..... you have to just start somewhere and keep writing,.. correcting mistakes, re-writing... erasing... maybe that's how life is.

Some people just seem to have it all figured out... made all the right decisions.

Warm Wet Winter

2010-01-24T13:45:00.000-08:00

Creative writing is going well, and even Economics is looking up. These are the classes I am taking this semester. The creative writing was a last minute switch-a-roo but it was actually what I really needed.

Lots of emotion has been release just from some minor writings, which I'm really excited about. It's helping to clarify images in my mind of visual art I want to make.

Raw emotion, cathartic breakthroughs (is that redundant?) --- changes are eminent. I have taken a hiatus from TV and the news over the last few years. It has been a gradual thing over the last 13 years. Not easy to do when TV was your only friend, your parent at times, your solace.

I hope to improve my vocabulary through this writing class, get at creativity that has been justating and produce a possible body of work. I wrote a poem today about the nature walks we used to take with all the kids. I left the room and had Chris read it.. he came and found me ... both of us in tears... our hearts breaking open and all those emotions spilling out --- we needed that. So much love, pain, hurt, joy .. is in both of us..I wonder if I can create something that heals both of us.. and maybe the kids too. At least something to share with them.. someday.

...............................................................................................................

Snow and lessons learned

2010-01-10T09:01:00.000-08:00

We had snow this week. Kids got two days off from school and it's been cold and is still white on the ground. Pretty unusual for KY.

Also this week classes started back. Boy, I thought I was 'getting it' regarding economics but yikes! I would not be surprised if I missed every question on the first test. I am trying to look at things differently and recognize that I need to remember that I am trying to learn here and that if I knew it already then I wouldn't need a teacher. Also I really prefer taking traditional weekly classes and the classroom atmosphere. Learning on your own is 'lonely' but necessary I suppose. I spend all day in an office alone most of the time with emails and IM's and phone calls. So coming home getting out a book and going into that world alone too is 'hard'.

On Wednesday I start my creative writing class -- I really want to give these classes more of myself and use this opportunity to stop being a couch potato and get more movement into my life.

Today I have lots of 'stuff' on my agenda, cleaning, laundry, car -- clean it too, de-Christmas the house, vacuum the house, go do a little bit of shopping, pay bills, study.... get a new exercise video.. I was thinking (laundry break ---i'm back now) that I need to work at being more flexible physically.

Well the laundry has started and it's shower time. I really want to get moving today .. stop being a couch potato and BREATHE....... find the peace and serenity inside myself and my own choices.

ON YOUR MARK...GET READY......

Tears .......... of change?????

2010-01-05T18:44:00.001-08:00

Today the sadness that has been lingering has finally turned to tears. For a bit it felt like they weren't going to stop..... but for now they have subsided.

So much going on... but none of the things I want. New job.. never got an interview... position is now filled... :(.... new car.. can't afford right now.... job not going in the direction I thought........

Economics class starts Saturday --- need to read 3 chapters and do all the homework ... test on the first day.. EEK!... creative writing... I am looking forward to learning something here and have some creative fun.... winter is upon us and my nerves about another ice storm ... NO MORE PLEASE~~!!!!!! my current job.... makes me angry..frustrated...sad......confused..... almost stunned.

I'm not sure if going back to school has been a good thing but after the tears were done.. i started feeling like i'm mourning over something. I have worked there for 3 years..... and maybe the idea of change is starting to become more than an idea... maybe it's manifesting .. even though the full change hasn't happened. The butterfly is now in the cocoon....
CHANGE IS HAPPENING....

2010 - NEW YEAR - NEW ATTITUDE!!

2010-01-01T07:46:00.000-08:00

2010 - 10 years ago I graduated from Brescia University with my BA in Art, moved to Akron, Ohio, and move in with my fiance.

Alot has changed in 10 years - my son will graduate from high school this year, he will leave for college, my daughter turns 16, I will be 42 this year, I have worked at my current job for over 3 years now, Chris and I will celebrate 9 years of marriage this year. Wow! lots happening. Plus taking the GRE this year and trying to get a new car.

Also I want a new job. I have refrained from speaking this way but basically there are certain 'things' about my job (not the work really~ just situations/people) that I do not like, that is against my moral character and violates my personal ethics.

Because of this I must find a new job. 2010 --- it the year to do it. Plus I plan to reach out to people who I have not spoken to in a while and take better care of myself via losing some weight and doing a better job at managing stress and letting myself be sad, or happy or mad when I feel it.

1/1/10 - I feel sad --- sad about my job. I also feel happy ---- happy about my family, school and myself. So that job has to change.

In the new year I hope to be more creative and more happy and content, and continue to enjoy my family and their warm love, smiles, laughter, silliness..... have fun with them. Amen.

HAPPY XMAS

2009-12-20T06:58:00.000-08:00

It's official ~ classes are over ----- only 3 days to work and then a 4 day vacation... weee!!

Trying very hard to NOT THINK about up coming classes ... work...... new car possiblities... Joe's college application.....eeekk... so much more... NONONONONONONONONON... just R&R.

:) wishing everyone..... all the very beary best..

Happy Holidays!!!!!

2009-11-26T05:32:00.000-08:00

It's been AWHILE since my last post. So much going on. School, Work, Family!

My son will be graduating from high school in six months. It's very scary to me.. yet exciting too.

Hope everyone has a happy holiday season. More updates to come.

VACATION ALL I EVER WANTED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-17T17:24:00.000-07:00

Finally - time off from work ..... biking, movies, Harry Potter, games, tennis, cool summer breeze or is it fall already - ...beautiful ...napping, sleeping....... clear skies....

Rethinking school....i guess it's still am......

going to paint today!!!!

hope you enjoyed this ramdom post

Summertime, when the living is easy.....??

2009-07-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that it's July. Lots of things, thoughts ..ideas have been going on in my head.

Here's a list....of current summer happenings and thoughts:

painting - new art and furniture
creating - new paintings
decorating - living room
shopping - new sheets, new kitchen things, new dressers....
reading - marketing
studying - business
reconsidering - teaching?
watching - movies
working - new office, training new employees, reorganzing
tennis - fun and exercise
biking - more fun and exercise
martinis - weeee...love those olives
vacationing - coming soon ... yeah!!!!!
eating - learning limits and what I really "like" to eat
rethinking - who I am... what I want

Not sure where this is all going. Also realizing that long term planning doesn't work..only plan is short bursts.

That's all for now..... time for more laundry and the Office Marathon... out R&R.

WHY AM I YELLING!!!!

2009-05-11T16:54:00.000-07:00

ok - i'll stop for a moment. mostly i am yelling ( and yes, this is me whispering - i know... extremes right? ) because i finished my first semester back to school - i still don't have my grades which is making me a bit uneasy but they will be here soon enough. i am signed up for classes in the fall so i have the summer to focus... on .. just ... AAAAHHHHH... work ---- which... i am not happy with for many reasons.. and i am totally torn about my decision to be an art teacher, even though i know... that what i do not is not really for me, it just pays the bills. i want to be creating....all sorts of thoughts have been flooding my mind since my last final was over. i definitely enjoy teaching art... i feel a natural connection to it but.... i also feel like... it may not be challenging enough in the long run.. but you can't see that far.. have to have your 5 year.. then 10 year out plans i guess... be business minded about it... plus may is crazy... to teenagers having birthdays, one getting his driver's licence and a car... the other wants to get a job like big bro .. she is seeing the financial fruits of his labor.. and she wants it too... hubby and i want to get bikes.. and i want to lose like .. 50 lbs... wow ! .... ok.. maybe this has helped me to stop yelling for now.. but i truly feel the need to run up and down the street.. screamming at the top of my lungs... not for attention.. i just need to let it all out....... or drink heavily..... PS.. HOPE YOU LIKE THE NEW LOOK.. IT WILL BE GETTING MORE INTERESTING .. PROMISE!

Spring ... is .... coming... weeeee.....

2009-03-10T17:14:00.000-07:00

Well the weather is warmer today, cloudy, humid... warmmmmmm. I have not been enjoying the cold weather this year.

Spring break is over for me and classes started back. I am glad. My new class starts next week and I can't wait to see how that goes.

Nothing much else to write about.

TA TA!

educational psych, carpal pain and getting organized

2009-01-24T16:45:00.000-08:00

January has been a busy month with going back to school and getting back into the swing of things at work.

My only problem with work in my hand/arm/ shoulder and neck are killing me, but my husband keeps me focused on the healing aspects of the pain. Today it is better. I have been using my left hand all week long at work with the mouse and it has been very frustrating even though I use it that way at home on the weekends. Work is high pressure though and I have found that all the knowledge is somehow locked in my right hand or I guess my left brain. My husband is encouraging me to stick with using my left and assures me that using my right brain more at work will give me a new perspective. Sounds good.

The class I am taking is Educational Psych. It's interesting and I am looking forward to my field hours in February. The idea of teaching art is really exciting to me. I can't wait, even though I have too. I have all sorts of ideas to share and see how students respond.

As far as getting organized. We are doing some of that at home and I am working to become better organized at work as well. I just know I can be more efficient.

I want to do a new banner for Valentine's Day but not sure if I will have the time. We will see - signing off - Crabby Monkey - OUT! ;)

NEW YEAR, NEW PERSPECTIVE

2009-01-01T12:44:00.000-08:00

Well, I think that says it all for now! :)

Christmas spirit, dead computers and growing older

2008-12-21T05:07:00.000-08:00

I am feeling more in the Christmas spirit since yesterday. Last week at work was exhausting. Working in a retail business setting really can kill your Christmas spirit (I can't say I was a big fan of Christmas before but yikes, now it's even harder.) But luckily my husband and I drove around a bit last night talking and looking at all the decorated homes. It does warm the heart, make you feel like a kid again (I guess that is why we drove around and that is what motivates adults to decorate their homes for the holidays) and realize that really we are all still children.

Also this idea of Christmas brings up thoughts of attachment. Attachment to objects, memories, ideas, it can be anything. A few months back life was particularly difficult for several reasons but the straw that broke the camels back for me was that the laptop computer that I had been using for several years with all sorts of ideas, memories, photos, etc. (and there are still things coming up that I realize now are on that computer) that I will never see again. Since I have my own live- in computer expert, this is a fact. The mother board just died one day. He tried to revive it, but could not. We hadn't done a back up in a while, due to busy life and extremely stressful situations that total zapped us. Let's just say, I was devastated (still feel twinges of it when I think about it). It was like a person died. I was immediately hurled back to when my mother died. Needless to say I didn't handle this computer dying thing very well. Also my husband was not prepared for the reaction since we did have another couple of computers in the house. But it wasn't about having a computer to use, it was about what that computer represented, ideas, thoughts, dreams...a record of life during a certain time frame.

So, attachment. I am finding it harder and harder to let go as I get older (turned 40 this year). So many things have happened over the years relating to death, letting go, moving on, lost dreams, dashed hopes. Attachment really can devastate you, cause you to grow older, suck the life out of you. It's not just about things or ideas, or memories, etc. It can be about relationships, personal issues, even money. You have to find a balance.

I want 2009 to be about finding my balance. I know I need to take time for myself. Time for my art, time for my soul. I want that to be a focus for me this year. My husband and I having given alot of ourselves and feel like now that we have to focus on ourselves more.

Ok I have rambled enough for this morning.

Christmas Wish For Chris With Love from Me!

2008-12-14T09:22:00.000-08:00

Well Christmas and New Years is approaching rapidly. Ever since Thanksgiving stress and tensions have been high. With going back to school in a month, work (which is zapping the little bit of Christmas spirit I had), family illnesses this week, and family pressures (past, present and future) - I have been finding it hard to maintain any level of civility and unfortunatly my family, especially my husband has bore the brunt of it. For this I am deeply *SORRY*!

My Christmas wish is for my husband. I pray and hope with all my heart for 2009 to be a year of happiness, health and love for him. He deserves it.

For years he has been struggling and I have been not helped with my own fears, worries and emotional baggage, which has worn him down even more.

That is my Christmas Wish.

GIVING THANKS!

2008-11-27T09:18:00.000-08:00

-Healthy, Happy kids.
-Being a family.
-Cool breezes on sunny, clear days.
-Rainy cold wintery weather.
-Snuggling with my sweety.
-New bare Christmas tree with endless possiblites.
-Sweaters.
-Weekend naps.
-Home where there are lots of hugs, laughter, cuddling and safety to be oneself.

Amen.

CREATING A MOVEMENT - undefined.

2008-11-16T08:27:00.000-08:00

I want to start my own movement. A movement toward creative loving and living. I don't really know what that means completely, yet. I have spent much time, YEARS, thinking about it.

I see a lot of people writing about similar things in books, on blogs, magazines, as well as, talking about it in movies and on tv, but I don't see it in my little corner of the world. Maybe it's where I live. The people here. Maybe it's ME! I do have a pretty busy and secluded life. Which I like, thank you VERY MUCH!

I guess it's not just me who wants to start this movement. It's my husband and children too. We see things differently. Even when we think we have come across a similar soul it doesn't seem to click for long. I guess they are like us. They want to start their own movement, too. So, we keep moving, thinking, creating, adjusting to spread the word.

Each one of us in my family has their way of spreading the word. Through music, teaching, art, words, creating, talking, laughing, living.

I want to salute you, my fellow movement makers, but we have our own movement to spread.

God speed to us all!

More change......

2008-11-02T13:41:00.001-08:00

Leaves are finally changing, weather is getting cold, preparing for classes to start in January (I'm going back to college, second Bachelor's degree), settling in for a snuggly winter.

Swimming has started for my daughter and my son has wrapped up marching band with high school football ending. My husband and I are enjoying retreating more from social gatherings and just enjoying spending time together.

We started down sizing the living room today to make some room for Christmas. We are not planning on going over board at all this year. Kids are going to their dad's so we are going to spend the day alone. (First time! for Christmas) We feel like we have to do things more just the two of us with my son only 1.5 yrs from leaving for college and my daugher only 3.5 yrs away.

All in all things are good.

Change

2008-10-04T07:59:00.000-07:00

Autumn is here. Yippie! It has to be the best time of year. School is new, new friends, new adventures, nature is letting go of summer and preparing for winter, goblins and ghouls are out looking for some fun, we all start to nessle in for warmth and family closeness. I hope that I can do some new things in 2009.

Here is a list of what I'm wanting to do:

Go back to school to work on becoming a certified art teacher (degree number 2).

Start painting the work I have been thinking about for many years since my mom passed.

Be more accepting of my own feelings.

Be more honest with myself and others about what I need, want, think.....

Be more open artistically.

Let go of feeling like I have to "fit in" somewhere.

Recently I watched Art:21. It was very eye opening for me as an artist.

I hope to post more soon. ttfn

illustration friday -memories

2008-08-30T19:21:00.000-07:00

My son - painted 2000, painted from a photos of him taken infront of the Evansville Museum of Art. Memories of that day, being with my kids, enjoying art. Memories of being in college getting my art degree. Memories of feeling more confident making art and that my art was going somewhere.

2008-08-22T16:38:00.000-07:00

Vacation all I ever wanted .. vacation happy to get away....

Yes the Go-Go's song is going around in my head. I've been on my mini vacation from work since Wednesday and it's been really great!!!!

We went on a nature hike, art supply shopping, out for lunch, out for ice cream, visited two art museums, took lots of photos, looked into our new idea about biking everywhere in the next year, did a little random exploring of the town, went to a flea market, napped.... and the fun continues.

It will be hard to go back... or will it??? Tonight I just feel tired.. going to do a movie night. Tomorrow going to see our son's concert, I will probably sew some more curtains for our daughter's room and hopefully get some painting done on a new painting I just finished drawing out on canvas......

Let the vacation continue.

Oh I did want to say that Penelope posted "the plan" and it's a great read. I really enjoyed it for many reasons... Life is challenging in good and bad ways but if we can see that it's for our higher good some how... it's much easier to keep on chugg'in.

2008-08-04T17:39:00.000-07:00

Birthday promises to myself have not yet manifested but the intention is still there.
School will be starting soon. Fall will be upon us and I am taking a mini vacation and hope to explore these promises to myself more fully, as well as, doing some jump starting to my creativity. Something I have been doing since my big 4 0 birthday is re-thinking life's possibilities, reminiscing, and exorcising some old feelings, beliefs and habits. Oh and also some creative writing.

Wish me LUCK!

2008-07-13T14:31:00.000-07:00

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. ~ Albert Einstein

illustration friday: fierce

2008-07-03T18:17:00.000-07:00

2008-06-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

Well big 4 0 birthday is Saturday.... so time to finally commit to testing the waters of illustration.

My pledge to myself is to :

1)participate in illustration friday
2)do a 15 minute doodle session a day ( at work or home)
3)get 10 -12 consistent samples for a portfolio
4)improve skills of drawing, painting
5) explore computer skills for art purposes
6)keep up with blog
7)create a web portfolio
8)keep taking baby steps

This is my commitment to myself, my art, my future.

2008-06-03T19:05:00.000-07:00

illustration friday: baby

2008-05-31T17:56:00.000-07:00

What I'm thinking..... roosters, stuffed chickens (like a stuffed animal toy I saw at Target - dog toy.. but I want one), crabs, monkeys, summer reading,...... drawing, painting, observing, walking, breathing.. summer, no school, lazy warm weekends, pulling grass with my toes while I watch the sun set with someone special....... shorter hair, painted toenails, action movies, library reading programs, doodles of neighborhood regulars bipeds and quadrupeds....twinkle lights and tiki torches in the back yard..avocados, veggie gardens, baby bunny under the shed, birds nests...squirrels chasing on another ............ finding peace.........smiling again.............

2008-05-28T02:40:00.000-07:00

Well, here it goes. I am creating this blog as an affirmation and commitment to my creative self. I hope this will be a good way to keep my focus on being creative and growing as an artist.

So here we go ..... bon voyage!!! :)