Warm Wet Winter

Creative writing is going well, and even Economics is looking up. These are the classes I am taking this semester. The creative writing was a last minute switch-a-roo but it was actually what I really needed.

Lots of emotion has been release just from some minor writings, which I'm really excited about. It's helping to clarify images in my mind of visual art I want to make.

Raw emotion, cathartic breakthroughs (is that redundant?) --- changes are eminent. I have taken a hiatus from TV and the news over the last few years. It has been a gradual thing over the last 13 years. Not easy to do when TV was your only friend, your parent at times, your solace.

I hope to improve my vocabulary through this writing class, get at creativity that has been justating and produce a possible body of work. I wrote a poem today about the nature walks we used to take with all the kids. I left the room and had Chris read it.. he came and found me ... both of us in tears... our hearts breaking open and all those emotions spilling out --- we needed that. So much love, pain, hurt, joy .. is in both of us..I wonder if I can create something that heals both of us.. and maybe the kids too. At least something to share with them.. someday.

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Snow and lessons learned

We had snow this week. Kids got two days off from school and it's been cold and is still white on the ground. Pretty unusual for KY.

Also this week classes started back. Boy, I thought I was 'getting it' regarding economics but yikes! I would not be surprised if I missed every question on the first test. I am trying to look at things differently and recognize that I need to remember that I am trying to learn here and that if I knew it already then I wouldn't need a teacher. Also I really prefer taking traditional weekly classes and the classroom atmosphere. Learning on your own is 'lonely' but necessary I suppose. I spend all day in an office alone most of the time with emails and IM's and phone calls. So coming home getting out a book and going into that world alone too is 'hard'.

On Wednesday I start my creative writing class -- I really want to give these classes more of myself and use this opportunity to stop being a couch potato and get more movement into my life.

Today I have lots of 'stuff' on my agenda, cleaning, laundry, car -- clean it too, de-Christmas the house, vacuum the house, go do a little bit of shopping, pay bills, study.... get a new exercise video.. I was thinking (laundry break ---i'm back now) that I need to work at being more flexible physically.

Well the laundry has started and it's shower time. I really want to get moving today .. stop being a couch potato and BREATHE....... find the peace and serenity inside myself and my own choices.

ON YOUR MARK...GET READY......

Tears .......... of change?????

Today the sadness that has been lingering has finally turned to tears. For a bit it felt like they weren't going to stop..... but for now they have subsided.

So much going on... but none of the things I want. New job.. never got an interview... position is now filled... :(.... new car.. can't afford right now.... job not going in the direction I thought........

Economics class starts Saturday --- need to read 3 chapters and do all the homework ... test on the first day.. EEK!... creative writing... I am looking forward to learning something here and have some creative fun.... winter is upon us and my nerves about another ice storm ... NO MORE PLEASE~~!!!!!! my current job.... makes me angry..frustrated...sad......confused..... almost stunned.

I'm not sure if going back to school has been a good thing but after the tears were done.. i started feeling like i'm mourning over something. I have worked there for 3 years..... and maybe the idea of change is starting to become more than an idea... maybe it's manifesting .. even though the full change hasn't happened. The butterfly is now in the cocoon....
CHANGE IS HAPPENING....

2010 - NEW YEAR - NEW ATTITUDE!!

2010 - 10 years ago I graduated from Brescia University with my BA in Art, moved to Akron, Ohio, and move in with my fiance.

Alot has changed in 10 years - my son will graduate from high school this year, he will leave for college, my daughter turns 16, I will be 42 this year, I have worked at my current job for over 3 years now, Chris and I will celebrate 9 years of marriage this year. Wow! lots happening. Plus taking the GRE this year and trying to get a new car.

Also I want a new job. I have refrained from speaking this way but basically there are certain 'things' about my job (not the work really~ just situations/people) that I do not like, that is against my moral character and violates my personal ethics.

Because of this I must find a new job. 2010 --- it the year to do it. Plus I plan to reach out to people who I have not spoken to in a while and take better care of myself via losing some weight and doing a better job at managing stress and letting myself be sad, or happy or mad when I feel it.

1/1/10 - I feel sad --- sad about my job. I also feel happy ---- happy about my family, school and myself. So that job has to change.

In the new year I hope to be more creative and more happy and content, and continue to enjoy my family and their warm love, smiles, laughter, silliness..... have fun with them. Amen.

HAPPY XMAS

It's official ~ classes are over ----- only 3 days to work and then a 4 day vacation... weee!!

Trying very hard to NOT THINK about up coming classes ... work...... new car possiblities... Joe's college application.....eeekk... so much more... NONONONONONONONONON... just R&R.

:) wishing everyone..... all the very beary best..

Happy Holidays!!!!!

It's been AWHILE since my last post. So much going on. School, Work, Family!

My son will be graduating from high school in six months. It's very scary to me.. yet exciting too.

Hope everyone has a happy holiday season. More updates to come.

VACATION ALL I EVER WANTED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally - time off from work ..... biking, movies, Harry Potter, games, tennis, cool summer breeze or is it fall already - ...beautiful ...napping, sleeping....... clear skies....


Rethinking school....i guess it's still am......

going to paint today!!!!

hope you enjoyed this ramdom post